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Trigger Points- Understanding and Managing Daily Annoyances and Anger

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Jonathan and Emerson discuss the topic of annoyances and anger. They explore the different triggers and reactions to life circumstances and the impact it has on relationships. They emphasize the importance of addressing and managing anger in a healthy way, and the need for self-reflection and personal growth. The conversation highlights the importance of repair and preventing further damage as well as the significance of prioritizing personal growth and addressing character flaws through reflection while Emerson also discusses spiritual realities for the believer as the episode closes.

Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor
Jonathan Eggerichs, Psy.D.
Psychologist

Self Assessments

Anger and Annoyance Assessment

If This Annoyance and Anger Reaction is Chronic, Why? For each statement below, rate your agreement using the following Likert five-point scale.

A. Is it because others keep provoking me?

I blame annoying people for my anger since they bring on my anger. 

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

B. Is it because this is what I learned growing up?

Growing up, anger was the way we dealt with frustration in my family. Others need to chill out because this is their issue, not mine; they need to accept who I am. 

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

C. Is it because this is a normal reaction, and others make too much of it?

I believe expressing anger is normal and justified in many situations. Others have a hypersensitivity to what is my natural response to people frustrating me. 

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

D. Is it because I am unaware and don’t see it?

People tell me I don't see how annoyed and angry I get, but I don't see what they see. People tell me that my annoyance and anger really affects them but honestly I don't see how that can be true; I feel that's more their issue than my issue. 

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

E. Is it because I feel others make a bigger deal of my reaction than they should?

I find it difficult to agree that my anger is harmful or disproportionate. Admitting that my anger is excessive doesn’t seem fair to me.

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

F. Is it because I fear others will gloat if I admit my excessive annoyance and anger?

Denying the severity of my anger feels easier than addressing it since I don't feel comfortable with how others will use that information against me. I avoid facing my feelings of fear, hurt, or insecurity that underlie my anger because it demands too much and I feel exhausted just thinking about it. 

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

G. Is it because my anger releases my annoyance and often gets me what I want?

I believe my anger is effective in getting me what I want, despite its negative impact. The potential short-term gains from my anger overshadow the long-term damages. 

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

H. Is it because I refuse to acknowledge this as a problem lest I need therapy?

I fear judgment or shame from turning to a counselor for anger management issues. I am ashamed over the thought that I have a problem with emotional regulation. 

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

Spiritual Realities Related To Such Anger Assessment

A. Do I give the devil an opportunity through my anger?

The Devil Shows Up In Me Ephesians 4:26,27, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all 

B. Do I recognize folly in my quick temper?

The Fool Shows Up In Me Proverbs 14:29, "Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”  

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

C. Do I struggle to embody this guidance in moments of anger? 

God Does Not Show Up In Me James 1:19,20, "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

D. Does my anger cause conflict, rupture relationships, and push others away?

Others Don't Show Up Around Me Proverbs 29:22, "An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.”

1. Very true 2. Somewhat true 3. Neutral 4. Not very true 5. Not true at all

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