Episode

Marriage

Episode

149

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C.H.A.I.R.S. - The Masculine Mindset

Watch Intro Video

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan explore the masculine mindset through the acronym CHAIRS, detailing the six key desires men have in relationships: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality. They contrast these with the six needs a wife has, summarized by COUPLE: Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This discussion underscores the importance of mutual understanding and empathy in strengthening marital bonds, helping couples navigate potential misunderstandings and appreciate each other's inherent goodwill. Join us as we delve into these dynamics to enhance relationship resilience and harmony.

Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.

Author, Speaker, Pastor

Jonathan Eggerichs, Psy.D.

Psychologist

Questions to Consider

Early in your relationship, did you notice any of the above six mindsets in your husband-to-be? How so? Did you feel loved because of this mindset?
Emerson wrote: “But because his natural focus is on C.H.A.I.R.S. and not C.O.U.P.L.E., she finds herself in disbelief, eventually having feelings of disdain toward him. She feels little respect.” Wives, can you relate to this? In what ways? Husbands, have you sensed “disdain” like this? In what ways?
What is it about this masculine mindset that can unintentionally lead to a wife interpreting her husband’s actions and mindset through a lens of feeling neglected, devalued, and disrespected?
Why is being assured of your spouse’s goodwill key to working through these misinterpretations?

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