Testimonials

…I have been thinking about doing something for our marriage for some time, but my husband was not in favor. He was always bothered by the method—one on one, and of course, the financial aspect. He decided to try Building Blocks primarily because the course was practically free. After five years this was our first planned and regular time away doing something for the two of us.  At first, I was a bit skeptical about the religious aspect, since my husband has practically no experience or a negative attitude towards religion. But it turned out to be completely acceptable, probably because you do not reinforce it…My husband rarely wanted to think about these things—he thought it was meaningless. He heard things for the first time in Building Blocks and discovered things he never talked about before. Certain truths really inspired him and consequently, me too. We both remember lesson five: My Response is My Responsibility. It made the greatest impression on us. In fact, I think I will write this on the wall in the bedroom! Perhaps the most valuable insight for both is the fact that we are not alone in our troubles and that others have very similar challenges…

My husband and I are married 18 years and are a blended family. We have done love and respect 4 times!!!  We purchased the conference and used it for 3 bible studies in our home over the years and have seen many marriages transformed.  Three were saved from the verge of divorce and are thriving wonderfully.

"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."

My small group of twenty something women just finished week three of TIP last night, and I am LOVING it! The content is obviously great (way to relate to and entertain a group of easily jaded/skeptical/seen-it-all/overwhelmed twentysomethings!), the concepts are something we’re all wrestling through together, but the very best part is Joy’s encouragement to be multigenerational. We have about six older women who’ve rotated through our weekly gatherings, and that element is making this one of the BEST things I’ve ever been a part of! It’s really amazing. Having these women—from a woman who’s been married more than 50 years to a fiftysomething never-been-married woman to thirty- and fortysomething women with kids—listen, share their hearts and experiences, share their own illuminations and wrestle with the concepts and God’s truth alongside my girls is SO DARN AMAZING. For one, it takes pressure off me as the leader to ‘have all the answers’ (I’m 29 and have been married for six years... I barely know what I’m doing myself!). And the fact that these women from different places in life are getting to know one other, open up to each other, ugh.... there. just. aren’t. words.

The Illumination Project is undeniably going to help our generation understand relationships. Joy is hilarious and has such great insight into the Love and Respect message. I am proud to call her a friend!

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My wife and I attended a Conference Live In-Person a few years back and it changed our marriage. We were frustrated, as this is our second marriage each,… we so much wanted to glorify God but we seemed to be doing so much wrong. We walked out during a break, looked up at the sky and simultaneously, shouted "I get it!".  Our marriage has been tremendous ever since (sure we have crazy cycles, but they are so rare & short lived nowadays and truly lead to resolve). In fact, the Holy Sprit moved upon my wife one Sunday morning and after following the right steps we became Pre-marriage Mentors at our church for the past 3 years now - we LOVE it. We are looking forward to going through the Conference again and having this material at our fingertips for reference. "My Response is my Responsibility" has been tremendously helpful not only for our marriage but in so many other areas of our life.

We have seven participants aged 23 to 29. I would characterize the group as each a believer, but their levels of spiritual maturity and personal relationship with Jesus vary considerably. It was clear that our test group was ‘willing’ but more than a little bit apprehensive. This was new territory for them. We wondered if we’d be able to stimulate discussion afterward. Ha! The group couldn’t wait to comment! We’ll have more to share as the weeks move on, but, suffice it to say, we might be ‘on to something’ here.

I came reluctant to give my husband the respect that I know I am biblically commanded to do. Praise God…I learned some valuable insights and tools to turn that around. And, I know that I am not alone!

I just finished Mother & Son and have learned so much. I have three sons...and have been struggling communicating with my oldest. A friend at church had recommended your book and it couldn’t have come at the more perfect time. For me it was easy and I get it now! Practically every chapter I was shaking my head in agreement. I think about things before I say them and try to explain in the most respectful tone without raising my voice. The biggest win for me was the first time I tried Respect Talk with my oldest son. We had gotten into an argument over the weekend and it was bothering me. A few days later I went into his room before bed and had apologized for my actions and how we are a lot alike and he is growing into a respectful and honorable young man. He grinned and I said good night and walked out. I went back into bed and within 5 minutes he came into our room to give us a hug, kiss, say good night and that he loved us! I had the biggest smile on my face. For me, this is easy and I get it now. I didn’t understand the blue way of thinking and it is something I am working on every day now. Thank you!

Why Hasn't Anyone told me this before?

We have two boys, and our oldest is almost eleven. I know that he feels a lot of pressure on him to be a good example to his three younger siblings. I tell him I love him all the time, but I had never considered telling him I respect him. This last Tuesday, I was cleaning his room, and I found a note he had written. It said, “Failure=Benjamin.” He is very hard on himself. . . . I was devastated. I knew something had to change, and that something was us, his parents. We need to show him that we respect him. Before he got home from school, I made twelve notes and taped them around his room and hid them in places such as drawers and under his pillow: I love you. I respect you. I respect your ideas. I am so proud of you. You are the most creative person I know. You are a great big brother. As soon as he got home and saw the obvious ones I had posted, he ran to me and gave me a hug! His eyes were sparkling, and he was so excited. He immediately took the notes and made a board that said “compliment board” and taped them all to it. I have written him letters in the past to tell him I love him and how much he means to me (he is very sentimental and has kept every note and letter). But telling him I respect him went over the top. I have made a vow to respect my son and treat him like I want his future spouse to treat him.

I have two boys...  I have recently read and listened to this book. I feel like this book has opened my eyes to how much I fail in my conversations with them... The conversations in your book are so foreign to me with my boys. I am at the point now where I can see where I did not respond with respect, now I need to get the vocabulary burned into my brain! It is going to be a process of changing my vocabulary, but I am committed to the long haul! I know it is what my young men need… The biggest mindset change has been with me focusing on spending shoulder to shoulder time with them and watching them doing things...  I now have the freedom to just do stuff with them and not have to talk. This last weekend I was home alone with my [son]. We spent a lot of time talking about whatever was on his mind (he loves to talk), going for walks, playing things he enjoys, and working outside. It was a lot of shoulder to shoulder time. I cannot tell you how many times he said that he just loves spending time with me. This is the same kid that a week ago said that I don't act like I like him. On one walk he said that he was going to stay with me so he could protect me. Later in the weekend I said that I was glad he was with me and that I wasn't alone because I felt safer having him there. He was so energized by that.